Finding the Way Out

Sorry @_@

2004-12-29T19:46:00.000-05:00

Sorry I havent been updating my peoples. (if there is any) Ive been experimenting with this Msn Space thing. Check out What ive done -> Here

And so yeah... A lot of things have been happening. If your curious go read there. Ill decide later if I want to stay with the msn blog or here. I guess Ill list some reasons:

Good

Blogger:
Prettier. Simple. Bigger and More People.The people here arent bored idiots that dont know anything.

Msn Space:
Lets people on your buddy List know you updated (if you have msn Beta). Easier for people who dont know Html. Introduces people to Blogs (if they havent heard of it). Easy access from your Buddy List.

Bad

Blogger:
.... nothing I can think of

Msn Space:
Doesn't work well with Mozilla (IE sucks ass). Most people who do it dont no what the fuck theyr doing.

The only reason I try it is that people on my Msn List know that I update. Which is very useful.

2004-12-19T18:54:00.000-05:00

Sorry I've been avoiding you dear blog. I just havent found time or have anything to talk about with you recently... Ill give you a real update later.

-note- I need a girlfriend _-_

Untitled Ramble 1

2004-12-12T19:56:00.000-05:00

So we went to Best Buy a while ago and I showed mom the headphones. She's "against me buying it" which means I cant buy it becuz she thinks I wont be able to hear her. But I think it's just another reason for me to "save" my money. How gay huh? I earned the money and I should be able to buy it! Grrr...

Well in other news I really want a girl friends right now. I really could care less about guys. (including Gackt and Miyavi) which is amzing since they are both pretty hot. But right now im just... yeah... just weird. But oh well. Girls are hot I cant help that now can I?

Oh dont you hate how people just walk up to you and assume they know what's like to lesbian/bi/gay? That just annoys the fuck out of me. Including the ignorant immature assholes that go to wms. They can all go suck a fuck. And if they want me to show them how I will. /end movie joke\

Arg...

2004-12-11T18:03:00.000-05:00

Im not feeling too good... bleh... I feel like throwing up... x_x

Other then me being sick to my stomach today was pretty good. My dad brought me downtown and took me to Junkman's Daughter's Brother. It is now my all time favorite store. They have top hats too! Which Im going to buy once I get Christmas Money. After that we went to Best Buy to get mom a present. We got her that Sony thing that you strap to your arm when your jogging. And my dad workers there and got a discount. I scanned these $70+ headphones and because of dad I get to buy them for... dun dun dunn... $33! Yeah! In your face.

Im ganna go lay down now before I throw up all over my computer... @_@

2004-12-09T06:55:00.000-05:00

Guess who got gmail?

hehe.... mines
your.worlds.acidic.taste@gmail.com

2004-12-08T16:22:00.000-05:00

Eh... Yesh today was so... eh! I was tired most of the day since I didnt get much sleep last night. Last night we had our stupid Band Concert. The thing that pissed me off is that they didnt have Toms! I didnt get to play my part in this one song! Arg atleast I didnt mess up my other ones. Speaking of band (damn I sound like a fucking nerd) we get to go to this one place in Tennessee for a Music festival! Whoo! Two holy days away from school! It sounds really fun acually. As long as me and my peoples get rooms together. But I we cant have rooms with guys oh well girls are fine with me! =p

Last night I finished burning a couple albums. Which Im very proud of myself. uhhh three bands though. Pretty Girls Make Graves, Distillers, and Motion City Soundtrack. And today Im still thinking if I should download more albums but maybe I should wait til tomorrow.....

SWEET! Mom just came in with my web cam that Finally came it today! Whoo! My god damn ive been waiting for this sucker. Oh well I'll set it up after I update.
...Noooo Im not instaling it now... wat are you talking about?.... >.>;;

Ok back to the update. Ok today we had this assembly in the morning. Some of the students against the teachers in Volleyball. (I swear everyone here is obbessesed with this sport) We were just basicly not paying atention and just talking and haning out in the bleachers. Fun huh? oh well I got to skip band and spanish so I was happy.

Oh you know what's funny? Alot of people in the school suspect me of being Lesbian or Bisexual. Scandalous! At first everyone thought I was lesbian (Im close to it though) and then... dun dun dunn... I went out with Bo. And so everyone was confused and was like ewwww Bo shes lesbian! or ewwwww Bo! shes bisexual! How gay huh? My friend Kerry's sister told her what they were saying and told me. She goes they were saying how much your Lesbian and Bisexual. And she goes but they sounded like they were just jealous. Jealous of what? That I have a hot boyfriend? Well... I dont think he's hot. I went out with him becuz he was sweet and I liked him. In your face bitchy-ass-preps now go in the damn bathroom and mess with your damn hair and cry me a river.

Im so nice arent I? Psh... who would want to go out with stuck up preps anyway? I bet they dont even know how to kiss. Biaaacch!

Pinch of Horror

2004-12-06T16:33:00.000-05:00

Hmmm Ive been thinking. Maybe I should start up writing again. I havent really started a story for a long time. The sad thing I've only really finished one of my stories and it was my first Inuyasha Fanfic. (pretty bad but I guess it's ok for a 5th grader huh) Maybe I should go with the Horror. I've tried... romance, romance/adventure, teen problems, and all with a twist of comedy. I should try and practice small stories. I need to get back into the groove.

Why the change? Well I just finished playing the Demo for Silent Hill 4 The Room yesterday and I loved it. Im thinking about getting the game. But then again Im a pussy to those kind of games and geez. I still need to get through Silent Hill 2. x_x maybe I should try again today... XD

If I could play those kind of games I'd so get Fatal Frame. That series looks awesome. But would probably scare me half to friggin death. Oh well Im going to look up Silent Hill sheet music. (yes so what if Im obessed with it right now?! Its damn normal I tell you!)

._.

More than I can stand

2004-12-04T22:47:00.000-05:00

His eyes upon your face
His hand upon your hand
His lips caress your skin
It's more than I can stand!

Why does my heart cry?
Feelings I cant fight!
Your free to leave me but
Just don't deceive me
And please believe me when I say
I love you!

I love someone who will never love me. Sometimes I wish I could die but that would be... unfair and selfish. It hurts to just watch her walk away from me... I want to tell her how much I love her how much it hurts but... I dont know... I dont want her to be sad because of me... I want to just leave now...

2004-12-04T07:52:00.000-05:00

Well... the dance sucked. I got introuble for dancing too dirty a lot. School dances suck! Geez... I mean I dont think I was THAT bad. Im really surprised they didnt kick me out. Bo and I slow danced. Its really weird going out with him he's not my usually boyfriend. Now I reall do know I like girls way better. But Bo's ok I just need to adjust I guess. I know I wont be able to get a new girlfriend this year anyway. And he's not the best kisser in the world either. I think Ill just teach him next weekend...

After the dance I came home and started talking on msn. I got really depressed... I was really hoping the dance would make me be all happy and shit... but I wasnt at all... I was talking to Paige about it. She says I should join this group thing at my school, for depression. But I dont really think we have that group anymore for no one joined I think. Or atleast I havent heard about it but I guess thats the point. But I guess if I ever find myself depressed during school Ill head over... I really want to get better. Im worried about myself... about what Ill do to myself... Moving here has drove me mad and crazy and I dont know. Its a very big change from Washington... I want to survive this but I dont know if I can. I think Ill start praying again... but sometimes I doubt he listens to me anymore... Im not a very good person at times...

Im depressed right now... I hate it. I hate crying every single damn lonley day.

Sigh and more Sigh

2004-12-03T18:19:00.000-05:00

Latley ive been feeling like... me and Paige arent as close as we usually are. We probably dont even know whats going on in each others lives anymore! And our msn conversations are just... us being quiet or just random stuff when we both acually talk. Really I wanna talk to her like crazy... maybe Im just being dumb.

I wonder if she thinks of me during the day like me. I think I am being dumb since Im not use to having such a close friend you know. With me moving away I dont want things to be different for us... Even though I see it will be different. Hell! Thats why you have this much posts! Becuz I have no one really to rant to. I
d rant to paige or matt but that would really annoy them after a while...

Me and Paige live in two damn seprate worlds now. And I think it sucks ass... What if we change over the time and we wont even recognize each other anymore?! That would be horrible... and Im crying even thinking about it. Dammit and Im getting all depressed and shit... theres a dance tonight... maybe that'll cheer me up...

Youd think Bo would understand if I told him things? Oh well...

Dude!!

2004-12-03T07:00:00.000-05:00

Omg its really early and I just finish dressing for school and so I decided to wear my Budha Shirt today. So Rj comes out of the shower and I stretch my arms up and he violently rubs my stomach (like all the other times I wore the shirt) And you know what happened....

nothing....

It was amazing!!! Usually I would yell or squeek and fall over kicking him! .... am I that use to it??.... Damn my friends at school and their poking powers... XD

Homework

2004-12-02T16:24:00.000-05:00

My god... so much damn homework. I have to finish an Outline for Science the Section reviews and I need to finish this thing for Spanish. I shouldnt have homework today but I guess it's my fault for holding off. Geez I wanted to go to the Christmas parade in Athens. At least I get out of the house and I was suppose to go to Sam's house. Damn you laziness.

Oh well... homework calls...

Damn Mood Swings

2004-11-30T21:17:00.000-05:00

Geez mood swings suck. I feel a lot better now probably because when I got on msn Paige was on. Its just weird for me not to be able to talk to her everyday. Found this on Nicky's Xanga:

I am not: craving you
I love: her... but who knows now
I fear: being alone
I forget/got: how to be laid back
I remember: the past
I imagine: that I will be happy when Im older
I hope: I die a normal and peaceful death
I crave: Coffee!
I regret: not asking her out
I care: about everyone but me
I want: to know who I am
I feel: alone
I don't listen: to certain people
I hide: my feelings
I pretend: to be ok
I cry: a lot
I write: a lot
I wake: up every morning... I guess thats a healthy sign
I play: music every minute
I find: nature and the simple things beautiful
I miss: being able to fly through school
I learned: a lot by friends and mistakes.
I know: everyone has little good inside
I say: im ok when im not
I dream: crazy dreams with lots of symbolism
I changed: my style a lot to stay different and away from the crowd
I wonder: what happens when i die
I wish: I could visit Washington over Christmas
I fight: with myself
I need: coffee and music
I want to: run away
I like: day dreaming and experiencing thrills
I drink: anything
I think: my life means so much more then what i can give it
I sing: off key and ear shatteringly horrible
I am: myself

Arg...

2004-11-30T18:19:00.000-05:00

I really don't know what to say to you today dear blog... Things have been weird... I guess. Im just in one of my depressed mood swings. Today was bleh and nothing really happened. It sounds really gay but I feel like stabbing someone. I just want to be left alone especially my parents. I have those times where I do not like being touched. And this is one of those times and I just know it... once I walk from this dormant room they'r going to touch me. Try and hug me or arg... it makes me wanna yell and say Stop fucking touching me! Im just really messed up...

I think I seriously need pills... but its not like my parents notice. Im good at hidding things. I do wanna get help really... but I dont like it when my parents or anyone sees me sad. Its kinda aqward when you go up to your parents and say 'Hey mom, I really think Im screwed up. I need pills and maybe a doctor or something. Im going suicidal living here.' Not your normal everyday talk after school huh?

*sigh* and when I acually want to do homework I forget it in my locker... I swear... God just loves Fucking with me.

Eh... School

2004-11-29T19:27:00.000-05:00

You know how hard it is to NOT fall asleep during class? I mean I was at my desk trying not to fall asleep and thinking "wow I should be asleep now" arg. A couple things happened that was good atleast. One. I got to play my violin. And I got to play Mario Brothers Theme on it. Which is fun to play. Two. Bo asked me out. At first I thought he wouldnt though. He waited last minute when we were walking down the hallway together on the way to the buses. I've never really gone out with a guy like him before. But I guess we'll see what happens.

Im still thinking if I should sit with him or wait for him to sit with me. I guess ill sit over there if that red-haired slut isnt there. (or so Ive heard thats what she is. she looks the part)

Besides school I just finished watching Donnie Darko. I loveee that movie with a passion! Oh and I went to the Library and checked ou t Go Ask Alice. I went becuz RJ went and I thought I might as well tag along. Notihng really else happened today. So I guess I should go start homework... or not. Later.

Idiots

2004-11-28T21:34:00.000-05:00

Yes we're good actors. Im 'Im half drunk and I cant see straight and Pay atention....' (I changed my name) other person is Paige. XD

I'm half drunk and I can’t see straight. A hero zero with a capital Z says:
*pokity poke poke*
Paige says:
*falls*
I'm half drunk and I can’t see straight. A hero zero with a capital Z says:
*sits on her* ._.
Paige says:
@_@
I'm half drunk and I can’t see straight. A hero zero with a capital Z says:
^-^
Paige says:
...i think i missed something
Paige says:
;-;
Paige says:
damn you short attention span!!!!
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
XD *pats her head*
Paige says:
*falls to her knees dramatically* DAMN YOUUUUUUUU
Paige says:
^_^
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
.... @_@
Paige says:
XD
Paige says:
we should make a soap opera
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
/._.Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
yay!
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
NOOOOOOOOOO
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
AAARRRRRGGGGGGNNARRRAAGGG
Paige says:
XD
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRGG...
Paige says:
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Paige says:
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Paige says:
y
Paige says:
.
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
why did you leave me?!?!?!?
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
AHHHHHHHH
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME!!
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
*runs away crying*
Paige says:
ITS ME! MARCO'S EVIL TWINNNNN
Paige says:
I RAN HIM OVER WTIH A TRAIN!
Paige says:
AND NOW HE'S IN A COMA!!!
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
NO!
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
MY LOVE!
Paige says:
DON DON DONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
HOW COULD YOU?!?
Paige says:
muwhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Paige says:
hahahahahahahaha
Paige says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Paige says:
ha
Paige says:
hahaha...
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
*swings arund a random pole a milion times stops and places arms on forhead* .... *sigh*
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
...
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Paige says:
XD
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
*shakes evil person over and over* WHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?! DAMNIITTTTT WHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Paige says:
*dies*
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
*stabs her self* ARRRRGGGGGGGGGG
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
*twitch twitch*
Paige says:
that was fun XD
Pay atention you might miss something. . says:
^__^

What A Crappy Walk...

2004-11-28T18:52:00.000-05:00

Well I just came back in from a walk a couple ago. It was the most crappiest walk I’ve ever gone on. I love my grandfather and everything but did he HAVE to fallow me? My god… I know hes just worried but its very very annoying. I go on walks to think, relieve myself, run away from things. Not get fucking fallowed. Its not like Im ganna run away and never come back or do drugs in the creek.

You know what Ive noticed? People usually worry too much about me or could care less about me. I don’t know maybe Im just hoplessly whining to a world that just laughs at you. And about my walk I went on it because I guess I was kinda depressed and I wanted to take a picture of this thing I saw in the woods. It was a no trespassing sign I saw a long the road and thought I could get a kool dramatic shot of it. But noooo. I hate when people watch me do things. I know this would be easier:

What I hate:
Being touched by certain people
Getting told what to do
Clowns
People who tease me about things I feel strongly about
Stupid People
People who just don’t know when to shut up
Spiders
People who are so dense they cant accept the truth
People who are so stubborn they wont even listen to the other side of the story
Impolite people who stare at you like you’re a freaking alien (they could at least try and hide it)
Rich people who think they are better then everyone or think they own everything

That should be it. I bet Im forgetting some things. It may look like Im a grumpy asian bitch but not really. Not much things really bother me. Not much people have seen me angry.

Here We go Again

2004-11-27T19:41:00.000-05:00

Advanced Big 30 Personality Test Results

Sociability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	89%
Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	32%
Assertiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Activity Level	\|\|\|\|\|\|	18%
Excitement-Seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	94%
Enthusiasm	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	21%
Extroversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	52%
Trust	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Morality	\|\|\|	8%
Altruism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	31%
Cooperation	\|\|\|\|\|\|	19%
Modesty	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	24%
Sympathy	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	77%
Friendliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	35%
Confidence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Neatness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	16%
Dutifulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Achievement	\|\|\|\|\|\|	16%
Self-Discipline	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	29%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	11%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	29%
Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Volatility	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	49%
Depression	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	88%
Self-Consciousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	16%
Impulsiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Vulnerability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	78%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	41%
Imagination	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%
Artistic Interests	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Introspection	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	53%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	71%
Intellect	\|\|\|\|\|\|	11%
Liberalism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Openmindedness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	65%

Take Free Advanced Big 30 Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Lola Ray

2004-11-27T14:08:00.000-05:00

All morning Ive been trying to download Lola Ray's album and I cant seem to find a good version of "One by One" "Slave" and "Preach On" which is getting on my nerves. I think I've gotten all the other ones. ;-; I love Lola Ray. And best yet the singer is Filipno! (LOLA ray) Named after his grandmother I believe. It sucks because they'r on tour and once they announced that I was like omg you better play in Georgia. And guess wat? They arent! Man you know how much that sucks.... Ive always wanted to see them live. *sobs*

Depression

2004-11-26T17:11:00.000-05:00

Btw... sorry for the posts that are close together.
Found this in another blog:

Symptoms of Depression

Emotional:
Sadness throughout the day, nearly every day
Feelings of emptiness or hopelessness
Feeling stressed, nervous, or overwhelmed
Loss of interest in or enjoyment of your favorite activities
Trouble concentrating or making decisions
Feelings of worthlessness or self-hatred
Excessive or inappropriate feelings of guilt
Irritability or restlessness
Thoughts of death or suicide
Physical:
Fatigue or lack of energy
Sleeping too much or too little
Change in appetite or weight
Vague aches and pains
Headache
Back pain
Digestive problems
Dizziness

The things in red is what I've been having since I moved here. But I really just think I have this little sad spells because of mood changes. But I really do wonder sometimes.

Sometimes I wish I could acually tell people Im sad when they ask. When they go "wats up" or "how are you" I just go yeah Im fine. I just dont want to sound like Im whinning to them and just dumping all my damn problems on them. It makes it look like I need atention and maybe that Im faking just to get their atention. I hate that because it makes me seem... I dont know. But I like it when someone acually pays atention to me. Because its usually the other way around. Maybe thats why I got a blog. because I can acually tell things to it without having it judge me or even me judging myself. Im crying because I tell this stuff to my blog but cant even tell my friends. When I do tell my friends its different from how they normally talk to me its like they pitty me. Its like they talk to me like if they say something bad Ill kill myself. They dont act normal when I tell them Im sad. I know it might be because they're worried but we really never really talk about anything unless Im fucking sad.

Maybe its different because its online. Its not like I can travel to Washington just to talk to each one of them. I barley even talk to anyone online sometimes I think its just better for me to leave. The thing is I want to say 'ive never really ment anything to them anyway. or what did I do to ever help them?' but I cant. I know I did something to help them... and Its gay because I KNOW I did something... I KNOW Im a good friends. This may sound very selfish but Its true. Thats what they say thats what they tell me. And I know it.

Im not the ordinary cry and depressed person. I know the good and bad tihnsg I do. Not just the bad like most people do. Those people need someone telling them the good but I know already. Maybe my adaptation to never really having anyone to talk to. Even when I was little I always fantasized about death. And its not the regular death how you imagine no one caring. Mine was when I died, it would be my fault and people will scry because of what I did. And it will be MY fault everyone is sad.

Sometimes I wish I didnt know the good. Maybe it will be less complicated. If I was selfish Id kill myself right now. But I cant because I know people here love me and care for me. But sometimes I wish they didnt so I could just leave. But I dont really want to leave that way. If I ever make it and be an old person in my little rocking chair. Ill rock in me chair and remember how hard it was to get that fair for me...

Walk...

2004-11-26T16:50:00.000-05:00

Just came back from a walk. Yes I was that bored. When I was about to reach my house I just realized... that was one of my first walks ive ever walked alone. Acually... I thin that was my only walk alone. Back in Washington I usually went on walks with Paige or Melissa. Mostly Paige though. I dunno I acually notice things when Im alone and have no one to talk to. Its kinda sad really. I miss Paige so much. Last thing I thought I will ever say is, I miss Washington. Washington was one of the borest places on Earth but atleast Paige was there. And all my other friends. Though I did feel out of place there. Here, I dunno, Im friends with people who are similar to me unlike back there. I dont know where Im happier. It almost cancels out but I like Washington more (you know why by now.) If I had to pick I would go back to Washington. I mean I grew up there. I havent even gotten a chance to get lost in the High School yet. See thats not fair.

Everytime I want something I can never seem to get it. Maybe Im just not trying hard enough.

Shut upp XD it Kills time ok!

2004-11-26T13:59:00.000-05:00

You are your own person, with your own style. Some
label you as goth, or punk, but that's only
because black is in your wardrobe more than all
the other colors put together. You tend to be
in a group, and do not treasure one friend more
than another. Stay yourself!

what is the color of your heart?
brought to you by Quizilla

Fire - you are adventurous and easily provoked, you
like to explore the unknown, you are a good
leader, You like pizzas! you dont really mind
having to get up early for some things, you
have lots of energy, you are emotive but can be
stupid... PLEASE RATE

Your TRUE element - In 3 questions! - cool pics on later
brought to you by Quizilla

B:

You take the Road Less
Traveled. Who
wants to go where everyone else has already gone
anyway? You look for the hidden
paths, ones most don't see and don't care to
venture down. You go boldly and
stand proud discontent with what's been put in
front of you, determined to find
a way perfect for you even no one else will take it
with you. You live as you
want and not for others, but be careful not become
selfish. Others may need you
and you should be there for them, especially the
ones close to you. You tend to
be the leader in most situations and people listen
and trust you not lead them
astray. Your firm in your opinions and beliefs and
unwilling to change yourself
to suit other people. By the same token, you can be
stubborn to a fault, change
isn't always a bad thing you know. Everyone changes
and grows, you shouldn't try
to stay exactly the same or you could be left
behind. Then again, you may change
frequently. Some people change to fit in, you my
little non-conformist, may
change to be set apart. It's great to be different,
but it's also just as great
to have things in common with people, even if those
people are in that "crowd"
you seem to have a vendetta against. Don't try to
be different, just be who you
are, whoever that is and you'll be unique all on
your own. So make some time for
people, let yourself blend into the crowd every
once in awhile, you may just
learn something about them and yourself you never
knew before.

What Path Do You Take In Life? [X]For Guys and Gals! Pics and Lengthy Results.[X]
brought to you by Quizilla

Dream

2004-11-26T09:18:00.000-05:00

Just woke up. (I swear Im going to kill Rj's alarm clock) I had a dream about Bo. Which is pretty weird I dont think I liked him that much, geez. I hope I dont sound like those lame girls who won't shut up about their boy friends and have their name on msn, I LOVE NICK. or whatever all in caps and using so much damn smilies in there names also. And then the next week they change to... I LVE JOHN. or watever.

Ok back to the dream we were all in class but some weird class that I havent been to or recognized. We had a circle of chairs and so I sit down and Andrew and Sam walk over to sit with me. I was saving a seat for Bo but I see him pass me and start talking to this prepy girl. They're all laughing and talking and crap and I shoot death stares at the girl. Well only a few times the other times I just ignored it.

And thats it. What a lame boring dream huh. Atleast my dreams with Paige were sexy. lol... Now I just sound dumb because Im talking about my dreams. Well you know what? I could care-less what you guys think. (^^)b

Randomness

2004-11-25T18:58:00.000-05:00

(Im 'Yayy!! Merry Christmas!! ^_____^ and the other guy is Specy)

Keep Hope Alive-The single player in Halo 2 is actually pretty good... says:
so what I dont care! I'M DUMPING YOU
Yayy!! Merry Christmas!! ^______^ says:
awww ;-; but specykun
Yayy!! Merry Christmas!! ^______^ says:
you broke my heart! I thought you loved me!
Keep Hope Alive-The single player in Halo 2 is actually pretty good... says:
nope it was all a game
Yayy!! Merry Christmas!! ^______^ says:
you... were playing me? I thought you were for real... but iwas wrong... *slap slap* I hope you have a good life
Keep Hope Alive-The single player in Halo 2 is actually pretty good... says:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Meh...

2004-11-25T18:00:00.000-05:00

Is Thanksgiving suppose to be this boring?! Thanksgiving is just like every other day but everyone just gets fucking fat. Psh like America needs to get any fatter. Man I only pay atention to it because we get off school. Well my vacation has been a piece of shiiittt. So damn boring. Im not really that close to friends here yet well not close enough to bother calling. lol. That sounded very bitchy but really I only call friends or offer hanging out if we'r really close or they call me first. *shrugs* oh well... arrggg my god I feel like stabbing someone x_x

Im so damn bored! aarrrggg!! *spases*

Im So Bored

2004-11-25T14:22:00.000-05:00

Found it somewhere... Ill post something real once something acually happens.

HAVE YOU EVER...
x. Said "I Love You" and meant it?: Yup

x. Gotten in a fight with your pet: Its kinda hard to fight with birds

x. Been to New York: Once when I was little. Want to go back

x. California: umm dont think so but I have some friends there

x. Hawaii: No

x. Florida: umm yea. Went last summer to Disney world and beaches.

x. China: Um does a China Airport count?

x. Canada: Yeah! I want to move there.

x. Danced naked: Psh you wish XP

x Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: Yeah x_x

x. Wish you were the opposite sex: um no x_x;

x. Had an imaginary friend: Yup! two of them! XD boy and a girl

x. Things you like in a guy: hmmm personality, eyes, not a blind perv that doesnt kno anything but boobs

x. Do you have a crush on someone: Yeah

x. What book are you reading now: Umm nothing

x. Worst feeling in the world: Being alone

x. What is the first thing you think when you wake up: Arrrgggg sleep moree x_x

x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: penguin and unan ^-^

x. What's under your bed: uhh Nothing now, surprising... well ok I sleep on the floor

x. Favorite sport to watch: Hockey

x. Location: sitting on a evil midget chair... I will burn it one day

x. Piercings/tattoos: Ears and thats it. Once Im 18 im getting my tongue and belly done and maybe a tattoo somewhere

x. Boyfriend/Girlfriend: ummm no

EXTRA STUFF
x. Do you do drugs: no
x. Do you drink: Ive drank before
x. Who is your best friend: Paigey and Matty!
x. What are you most scared of: Clowns, Spiders
x. What clothes do you sleep in: pj pants or underwear and a shirt
x. Where do you want to get married: In the Philippines but really I don't mind where
x. Who do you really hate: Devon. I hope she falls off a cliff.
x. Been in Love: Yes, sometimes I regret it and sometimes I dont
x. Do you have a job: being an evil slave? yea
x. Do you like being around people: depends... I can be either social or an anti-social humanoid that will snap your head off. XD

STUFF
x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex: hell yea
x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go for?: Ummm... I usually go with the guys/girls with the same interests I do. But if your sweet to me and I trust you I bet you have a chance. But that takes a lot so Good Luck.
x. Want someone you don't have right now: Yea...
x. Are you lonely right now: Yes very
x. Ever afraid you'll never get married: Not really
x. Do you want to get married: yes ^-^
x. Do you want kids: atleast 2 @_@

ONE FAVORITE
x. Room in house: My old room

x. Type(s) of music: rock/punk

x. Color: Orange, black

x. Month: December or January

x. Stone: forgot... it was dark blue

LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...
x. Cried: I think so
x. Bought something: ummmm Im thining of buying a webcam
x. Gotten sick: no
x. Sang: lol yea
x. Said "I Love You": well kinda
x. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: yea
x. Met someone new: ummm dont think so
x. Moved on: .... what?

x. Talked to someone: yea o_O
x. Fought with your parents: kinda not that big tho

Merry Christmas!!

2004-11-25T13:51:00.000-05:00

Yayyy merry christmas!! XD and a happy new year!! ^_^ I cant wait til next month! Thanksgiving and Halloween ^___^
Stole these from rosie's blog XD

Brave, strong willed, loyal and passionate
You are a sprite of Fire. Full of passion, bravery
and spice you are the living embodiment of
fire. You are quite arrogant and think yourself
above most but that is made up for by; your
passionate ability to pursue your dreams, your
strong will and your powerful well skilled
ability for fighting. You are a natural leader,
people are somewhat drawn to you and see you as
someone to look up to but you only pay
attention to them if they are useful, your
equal or your superior. You are a very exciting
person to be near for you have a vast love of
adventure and battle. Fire is a symbol of
Passion if and when you choose to love you are
capable of beautiful, long lasting, devoted
love. You are quite wondrous!

.::=What type of mythical Sprite are you?=::. -With Anime Pictures and detailed answers-
brought to you by Quizilla

F:

Your Beauty lies
in Contradiction. Controversial, unpredictable, and
never what anyone expects.
You appearance and your personality are two
opposite things. Even your
appearance sends different signals to different
people. To some you may look
innocent and sweet, to others you look mysterious
and intimidating at the same
time. No one ever knows what to expect with you.
You are a little bit of
everything all mixed together. You can be watching
the football game with the
guys one minute and the next out shopping at the
mall. You seem to be almost a
different person every time you meet someone, but
at the same time you know
exactly who you are and there is always that one
thing that makes you you. You
enjoy keeping people guessing and people love how
completely unpredictable you
are.

Some Things
That Represent You:

Element:
Fire, Water Animal: Chameleon Color:
Dark Tones, Light
Tones Song: Everything by Alanis Morriesette
Expression:
Half-smile

Gemstone:
Opal Mythological Creature: Gryphon,
Half-breeds Sign:
Gemini Planet: Mars Hair Color: Red
Eye Color:
Brown

Quote:
"Appearances can be deceiving."

Where Does Your Beauty Lie? ..::Original Pictures Are Back! Detailed Results::..
brought to you by Quizilla

(dude that last one almost got it right! Wow closest quiz result that acually is me.)
more later! so much food @__@

Orange Tea...
You are Orange Tea.
Spicy and with tons of flare you are the natural
party person! A night on the town is your
general being, your completely a night life
person. Your the life of the party in one sense
or another and anyone whos anyone knows your
name. Your popular and well liked although you
can sometimes be a little arrogant and self
absorbed. You are full of excitement and good
times!

What type of Tea are you? {-With Anime Pictures!-}
brought to you by Quizilla
Why do all these quizs say Im self centered or selfless? Geez they need make up their mind XD

Quizzies

2004-11-24T19:31:00.000-05:00

Im so bored....

First Time-

Why do you cry?
brought to you by Quizilla

Second Time-

Why do you cry?
brought to you by Quizilla

First Time-

When i kill myself i'll...

Find
out your most ideal means of suicide by clicking here

You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.

Image Copyright Sheila Wolk (prints available
through treefreegreetings.com) - words added by
myself.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

Arrg... Too early

2004-11-24T08:15:00.000-05:00

My god my cousins alarm clock woke me up. x_x its like 8:15. Thats way too early for a vacation... x_x why me...

Yes! Im free, free at last!!

2004-11-23T20:10:00.000-05:00

Guess what?! Last day of school! Yes! Thank god. Oh today we had those really gay pig races for the people that acually do the fundraiser. Well Bo did and he got to race a piggy and he won a piggy! (toy piggy) and he gave it to me. It was soo adorable. I named it Mistie XD after mistie =p Its raining sooo hard. Its kinda nice though. I got so wet the bottom of my pants got soaked and so did my shoes. ._.

My aunt had me and RJ set the christmas tree and my god it stunk like a dead rat! So she sprayed it with that air stuff. And now we have a "naked" fake tree in our living room. And the tree is huge! Oh well I dont feel like writing much. Ill say more later.

Just one more day

2004-11-22T19:56:00.000-05:00

Arg... thank god its almost thanksgiving break. Ill be really bored but I guess thats better than skool. Well I just dosed off upstairs reading my cousin's new PSM mag. The rain sounded so peaceful and calming I just fell asleep.

Well today at school was kind of boring. I had a math test and I hopefully didnt flunk it. Geez I hate Algebra. Well I hate math in general. Oh and I found out last week I didnt make Pace. I failed the achievment part. Haha... event hough thats one of the easiest to pass. Oh well I really coule care less sometimes. I mean sure... if you tell me to learn it Ill learn it. I wont have a passion for it I bet. And when I do people notice. I usually just hate it and grit my teeth and do it.

Geez and I have a test in Spanish which I bet I wont make the greatest grade ever. Its about food and the table. And how they are said in Spanish. Thats a hwole lot of shit we had to know in a week. But then again I never study so I guess thats why. heh... Im so going to flunk... Speaking of Spanish I have that class with Bo Young. Hes incredibly cute. Yes thats right people I acually like a guy. He should feel lucky I havent really liked a guy since well a couple months. (sorry guys but I like girls just a little more) Well Ive known him since skool started this year. But we never really talked we just knew each other's names. I always thought he was that kind of guy who I would probably never talk to or meet. I kinda got to know him a couple weeks ago when I went to the movies with Mistie and a whole bunch of other friends. (still surprised we didnt get kicked out) Hes so cute though hes that type of guy whos really shy. If you look at him you probably wouldnt think that but hes so sweet. Today in Spanish we were watching some movie and so I had to sit on the other side of the room to see and thats where Bo sits. He kept glancing at me and when I glanced back he would you know try and hide it or look away. I thought it was soooo cute. I guess he did that on purpose though because you could really tell.

I was on the bus and I was talking to me friend Cooper, aka The Sexy Beast, and he asked if I liked Bo. And so I go well yeah I like him. Cooper told me Bo told him he likes me also. (which people could obviously tell) But yeah I'm going to wait and see if Bo does anything. I like the guys who can acually ask a girl out. But oh well Leslie's been trying to get me to ask him out. Ill think about that over Thanksgiving Vacation.

Wow... that was a first. First time I went on about a guy in a blog entry. This is a first for me. lol...

Painted Roses

2004-11-21T11:16:00.000-05:00

Ok I've been trying out different blog places to start my new blog. I originaly had one at Blogdrive. I had a couple at Xanga but I really didnt like xanga much. (the fact that you cant edit your skin without upgrading you account annoyed me) It really sucks how I dont know much css or html. I really do try and study online but I get so side-track its not funny. I mean it just gets... well... really boring. Oh well this is just really a 'Hi Im here now' first post. =p